Forgiveness

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This is a tough one.

Let me start out by telling you a story.

A few months back, someone hurt me. This person embarrassed me in front of a lot of people, cussed me, disrespected me, and made me more angry than I have possibly ever been.

I left the situation feeling ridiculously irate, and later I began to pity the person. It honestly hurt my heart that someone could possibly hate me as much as this person acted like. I felt that they had absolutely no right to act so belligerent and claim to be an adult. Basically, I have had flames coming from my eyeballs every time I think of this person since that incident.

So now I know you’re thinking. “Wow! This girl really holds a grudge!” And I have always tried not to, but for some reason (probably because I have never experienced being blindsided like that for no reason), I could not let this go. Everyone experiences this sometimes I’m sure.

So, back to the forgiveness part…

Today, I have decided to let this go and forgive this person. Yes, it still upsets me that it happened. And yes, I am probably still going to walk the other way if I see them. However, I am releasing the stress of this grudge that I have been carrying with me. I am not going to go out of my way to smile or speak, but I will not be rude.

Sometimes I think this is all we can do. When someone hurts us this much or more, it can be hard to forgive and maybe even impossible to forget. I will not be forgetting this incident anytime soon, but I have chosen to forgive it. I am forgiving for my own benefit; it has been a burden for too long.

Sometimes it’s better to just suck it up and be the bigger person. I’m not holding my breath that this person will ever let this go (and I personally couldn’t care less), but I am doing myself a favor by moving on and putting it in a far, dark, dusty place in my mind that is never ventured.

So, if you have been struggling with forgiving someone, I encourage you to give it a shot. Don’t necessarily do it to relinquish the relationship– do it to ease your soul. Of course, this may be the first step to getting your friendship/relationship back, but it is not necessary (as in my case). Personally, that situation solidified the fact that I need to be more careful with who I associate with.

So learn from this experience like I have, and be a better person because of the forgiveness you have given.

Feel free to leave your comments on your own experience or advice! 🙂

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Your Legacy

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If you were to leave this earth tomorrow, what would you hope people would say about you and the life you lived? How would they describe you?

Would they say you were a wonderful person, who gave unselfishly and loved everyone or would there be an awkward silence while they try to pick their brain to think of something nice to say about you?

I hope it’s the first. And I hope you earned those words honestly.

People say you shouldn’t care what others think; and yes, this is true to an extent. However, I know that I want people to think I am a good person who they can rely on in a time of need. I want them to know that I care about our relationship and that they mean a lot to me.

Show people you care while you have time. Give them your undivided attention; put your cell phone down, get off Facebook, and look at the person who is speaking to you. Show them that their thoughts matter to you. Be the person who they can turn to when they are having a bad day or just want to talk to someone.

I hope I have been this type of person thus far. I hope the people in my life know how much they mean to me. I hope, when I’m gone, people talk about how loving I was and that I would have done anything for them… and I hope they really mean it.

Be sincere in your relationships throughout your life. They are more important than you may realize.

Strive to show people you care about them and that you are present in your relationships. Don’t be that person who is pretending to listen while you text under the table.

More than anything else, love unconditionally. Do not put limits on your love and gratitude. Give more than you take and be the person who people can always rely on. Be the type of person you would want to be friends with.

Don’t hold grudges. There is not enough time in your life to hold grudges. Even if you can’t forget something completely, forgive the person. Life is too short to be miserable. You will feel better in the end if you just let it go. Of course, sometimes there are things that you can’t let go, and that’s okay too. Sometimes it’s best to let negative people go and move on with your life.

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I the type of friend I would want to have?
How will people remember me once I’m gone?

If you can answer these in a positive manner, keep up the good work. You are on your way to leaving a great legacy.
If you can’t answer these in the best way, work on becoming the type of person you know you should be. Be a person who conveys love, gratitude, loyalty, and happiness every day. You can do it; don’t give up until you get to where you know you should be.

 

April

To My Future Kid(s)…

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So, another one of my friends had her baby today (see picture). This just reminds me, once again, how not ready I am for kids. I will probably have them one day, once I’m married and whatnot.

But until that day comes I’ve decided to compile a list of some things I’d like to share with my future children (or any other kids/teenagers). Hope this isn’t going to get too awkward.

1. First off, you have the coolest mom in the world. Your dad is okay, too.

2. Life is really not fair sometimes. There are going to be some days where you just want to pull your hair out, poke my eyes out, and slash your dad’s tires. But my advice to you is: don’t– unless you enjoy the idea of juvenile prison. Really though, bad situations pass– you just have to keep going when you feel like giving up.

3. No matter what stupid, idiotic, childish stuff you do, I will still love you. Guess what? We all have done stupid stuff; although I was close to being the perfect kid/teenager (don’t believe what your daddy tells you about my younger days).

4. Absolutely no boyfriend/girlfriend is worth giving up your sanity. Do not depend on a significant other for your happiness. You can be happy with or without someone else.

5. Do not forget your morals in relationships. Boyfriends/girlfriends can sometimes make you overlook certain things that you are not okay with. Know what your deal-breakers are (see #6 for example). I promise, if you overlook something once it will continue to happen.

6. Do not EVER do drugs. I realize you are going to do some dumb things. Some dumb things are okay, like jumping in a big bouncy ball display pit at Wal-Mart. Drugs are not one of those things. People ruin their entire lives by deciding to give into the pressure ONE time. And yes, marijuana is a drug (crackheads and heroin addicts had to start somewhere and it’s usually with pot). Be careful and be smart.

7. You have to make your own decisions at some point. But with this freedom, comes responsibility. You may not understand why no one will buy you the super-cool pair of shoes, but one day you will have rent (or a mortgage), bills, car payments, insurance fees, phone bills, etc. to pay and you will totally get it. Life will go on if you don’t get the Coach purse that you are just dying to have. Once again, life is not fair. I promise you will have everything you need in life and more.

8. Put some effort into your education. It will make it a whole lot easier on whoever ends up paying for your college because hopefully you’ll get some scholarships and assistance.

9. Be polite. Use manners and apologize when you need to. It is so important for you to respect others, especially older people. Say “please” and “thank you”, and don’t be afraid to say “I love you”.

10. Work hard. Work ridiculously hard at everything you do: school, jobs, and everything else. When you start working, you are going to have to prove your worthiness to your employers. Start out strong and don’t give up. It might take a while, but you will eventually get the credit you deserve. Never ever give up on what you want. It is so easy to forget about your dreams– don’t. Set goals and work toward those goals.

**Note:
This list basically developed into a list of stuff I wish I knew at a younger age. Feel free to add your own advice/comments! 🙂

April